Thought I disappeared?

Throughout the last few weeks I have been busy studying for the end of year exams as many students might know. It has been a gruelling time to say the least! I will not bore you with the details, however I must just share that I pulled through and can now look forward to a few weeks of rest.

My struggle now is to actually rest... I cannot seem to drop the awfully guilty feeling I get once I start to do everything and nothing I like such as reading, or watching series or being active. I have come to realize that this is quite a normal occurrence for individuals coming out of a highly focused environment and finding themselves relieved from being so focused. As this is not a selfhelp book or blog, I won't imply that what I say will help or can be used in all cases of this ocurrence, but how I processed this is what this blog is all about right? So, how do I get out of this guilty restlessness?

Simple, I give it the time it needs, I feel it, I try to understand that my body is physiologically working to get back into its normal balance, working to be in a state of rest and digest. Stress causes the body to be in a constant state of fight and flight, basically having the feeling of always being on the edge, never resting. I try to understand that emotionally and psychologically I also need to find my balance again. To study and keep on focussing throughout an exam period takes emotional and psychological energy. There is a lot of mind-over-matter needed to keep on going even when one cannot study anymore. Now, there is none of that needed anymore, no pushing yourself to keep on going. There is a strange emptiness in my being.

So I take the time to feel guilty, but I remind myself that I am not and that resting is my objective now. I ride the wave of feeling purposeless because I do not have to push myself to do anything anymore, but I remind myself that I can actually do what I want, I can start enjoying my hobbies again. I give my body physical rest, but I give it exercise and good nutrition as well. Lastly, I look closely at my thoughts, I correct my thinking once it turns back towards the stressed environment, as it is one of the past now.

Read this, or not. Use it, or not. I hope it can possibly mean something to someone.